Ok, so I’ve been busy personally for the past few months but there’s a whole story behind it. Strap in, my friends and let me tell you about where I’ve been.
Our story starts with Charlottesville. On the day of the rally, I was busy helping out with a charity cosplay group brighten the days of those at a kid’s grief camp. After that, all of us load up into the car and I open my Twitter feed. I read about the car plowing through the crowd and then came the footage. I ended up breaking down in tears in my boyfriend’s apartment because I could not believe the utter lack of humanity in that moment. And in that breakdown, I realized that this was going to be the catalyst for me to stand on my own two feet.
I knew that, at least within the Catholic church I attended, Thoughts and Prayers would only be mentioned if there was a natural disaster or a domestic terrorism attack. But stuff like this? I would be more than surprised if it was even discussed. So, I made my plans and I went to church the next day.
We had a guest priest, which wasn’t exactly great. I sat through the readings and waited patiently for his sermon. Surely within the time between Saturday and Sunday, one would modify their message to at least address the horrors of the world and steps that can be taken to rectify it; nope. It was Yet Another Plea to Donate to a Charity. I sat there furious. Once we all stood up to recite the Nicene Creed, I loudly asked “What about Charlottesville”? This got everyone’s attention and the priest feigned not hearing what I said. I continued to ask questions and he deflected it with a baseball joke. That was the last straw for me and I walked out of the church, waiting for my brother to pick me up for my daily Starbucks fix.
As the day went on, I pretended that everything was fine. It wasn’t until roughly a quarter to eight that my mom was on her way to bed. She saw that something was wrong and I told her I wanted to move out at the end of the week. She took it far better than I thought; I imagined it resulting in far more tears. We started to formulate a plan and I said that I would be the one to tell dad, the more difficult of the two parental units to talk to. I ended up not telling him as he watched TV and I sat across from him. The whole air was thick with awkward tension. He shuffled off to bed and I tried to distract myself with a larger flow of media.
I woke up the next day and saw a large amount of boxes in the hallway outside my door. Figured all was well. I walk downstairs and dad was occupying my spot at the family table. He spoke in that terse tone of voice that said he knew what was up. He told me he wanted me out that very day, making a clean break. At the time, I was rationing my antidepressants and took a brief drug holiday with disastrous results of dizzy spells. Luckily I got a refill that day so I resumed my dosage. I’m packing my belongings by myself and trying to overcome this vertigo while updating my close friends about what’s happening.
Working non-stop, I finally call it quits as help arrives. I arrive at the apartment and quickly ship my totes indoors. Dad and I exchanged a few words but it was all emotionless but professional. I shut the door behind me and smile because now, a large weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. No longer would I have to feel trapped by the rules imposed by my folks or have to hide parts of myself.
Nathan came home from work and we got some of my seasonal stuff stored at a friend’s house. At that point, I just had to turn in a residential application for the complex and wait until a place opened up. Since I was unemployed and more or a less a squatter in a one-person studio apartment, I assumed the role of the homebody hubby and did some domestic stuff. I did my best to clean the place and stock the fridge. It was especially easy since the store was a few blocks away from the apartment. When he would come home, I would assume the supporting role and let him talk about his day as well as microwave dinner. I began to do things that I would loathe doing at home or wouldn’t want to because I knew there was a provider. Now, it was up to me to take care of my own basic needs.
September came and we began to get a routine established. Nathan got an offer at his workplace that he was temping for a full-time position. This was great as right around this time, we got word that there would be a one-bedroom apartment available in mid-October. On top of that, he celebrated his birthday in the middle of September, so it was up to me to make it extra special. When we went to the local Coldstone for his birthday, he told me that on that day last year, he celebrated it alone. Now, he was celebrating it with someone he loved.
October comes and we start to prep for moving out. I start putting things in boxes and get things put away, little by little. The Friday before the move, Nathan swaps cars so that I can use the stationwagon to move things. I end up taking two carloads of boxes by myself that day. It also marked the first time I used a car by myself since I went on medical leave the year before and I did just fine. I pushed myself a little too much but that’s ok. The actual day of the move was not a good one for me as I got overwhelmed and felt like I would collapse. I ended up sleeping in the closet in the new apartment just to isolate myself from the world.
Little by little, we get the new home situated. The entertainment center is installed, I place my 400+ on the shelves, we get the new couch that we bought indoors, we unload the plates and utensils, and so much more. Right now, there’s still some things we need to unpack like our clothes and miscellaneous stuff as well as purchasing a mattress. Currently, Nathan gets the couch and I get the floor. Hopefully, that will happen soon, along with me buying the car from my folks and looking for work.
All in all, things have been very positive since I left home and I could not be happier. Nathan and I will be celebrating eight months on the 19th. We’ll be celebrating the holidays together and hit some of those milestones of being a couple. I’m so excited.
The Autistic Fox 